Reminiscing In Nightmares
by Lost.In.Nightmares
Summary: Anri is left to reminisce in the nightmare that she has created for herself. But even shadows fade to light as a certain boy in shades of gold helps to bring her into the dream that they've built in the past, and make it their future.
1. Reality Check

Hellllllloooo peoples who follow me~ I have a request here for a user : _**RAIKIM4everlover **_and since I can't PM anymore with that person, I've decided to put up the story so I hope you guys like it. The Subjective Chills will be uploaded by the weekend just waiting to get over this flu/cold thing~ *tosses out another nightquill bottle* so please be patient with me, I'm trying. I'm open to all requests and will work on them as soon as I can so don't be shy, I love you all ^^. Okay enough with my mindless rambling, let's get on with this story shall we?

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><p><span>Reminiscing In Nightmares<span>

Chapter 1: _Reality Check _ _Anri's_ P.O.V

It's always something in this world that pulls us back to the reality that we've tried to escape. That I've tried to escape. Even when the Earth seems to stand still, you suddenly realize you're still here, breathing, living, falling. Never changing just like before.

Even in the moments where you feel like your entire world is crashing and cracking all around you, it's really not. You look around and see that it's you, not the world, and yet again, it's always been that way.

Questions, thoughts, voices, all mixing, fusing, entertaining into something of a sick sub-conscious. Dreams and memories, sweet dwellings, shatter as reality is thrown back into your face, like the dust being kicked up from running from your own destiny. This is my reality check.

I look into the reflective glass before me, judging appearances even though they don't matter. Short black, cropped hair, round maroon eyes that are just a blank canvas, and an unwavering glance of innocence that only serves as a mask.

I guess it's rather amusing now. I sit here with a voice whispering in my ears, serving me no displeasure, a neutral notion at that. I fixate life as a loveless dream for myself, because it's easier that way, or at least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Dawn now serves its rays, a day to go back into the story I built for myself. Though the truth may be out, nothing is really different, but yet it can never be the same. And with that, I continue to ponder the same pattern of endless dwellings, leaving my home and moving forth until I meet the main gates of the Academy.

"Ah, hello Anri~"

I turn to the familiar voice.

"N-Na Nasujima-Sensei," I stutter dumbly, shrinking back in fear.

Crap too many people around… Hmm.. Hello, is anyone near the main gates? Hello~

"Hm.. Have you been avoiding me Anri?" he asks suggestively, his body looming over mine as he moves closer.

"N-no, I think the bell is going to-" I say quietly, being cut off by fear, my words caught in my throat. He moved closer, leaning, his breath hot and disgusting against my face.

I try to move back, but I am met with the wall. Cold and harsh, cutting off escape routes. I felt pathetic, not doing anything as he continued to make his move. His eyes were glazed over with lust, I could feel my heart race.

His lips ghost just above my own, until he crashed them down onto mine. Hungry, sloppy, unwanted. I try to push him away but he leans harder on me, holding my hands above my head. I try to scream, but he slips his tongue into my mouth. I squirm, my screams are swallowed and muffled by his mouth being pressed on to mine.

"Hey, what the _**hell**_ do ya think you're doing you bastard," I hear a familiar voice scream.

_Masaomi?_

He immediately presses off, trying to make a run for it, but he doesn't get far before a flash of blonde an white come across my vision as clicks against the pavement rings in my ears. My ears twitch to the sound of cracking and scuffing. I don't bother to check around the corner, as I let myself slide down the wall, wiping my lips to try to erase the violation and disgust from them. I look down and stare at my feet, not knowing what to do.

_So stupid Anri! How could I be so stupid.. Why did I let him get that close to me? Why did I freeze up like that? Why am I so weak?_

"Anri?"

"Masaomi..? You're back?"

The boys looks at me sheepishly, digging his heels into the pavement. I avert my eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"Mhhhm, I'm fine, thank you," I reply, still failing to make contact with him.

I hear him walk over to me, and take a seat beside me. He lets his feet slide out in front of him, fully stretched forward.

"He wont bother you anymore you know," he says softly. His voice is low.

"I'm- I'm sorry," I say.

"For what? That bastard is the one that was making moves on you, it's not your fault or anything like, at all, I mean-"

I turn to him, cutting him off, "You shouldn't have had to have gotten involved because of me, I'm sorry," I say getting up quickly and making a gesture to run, but a slender hand grabs my wrist before I could leave.

"Never be sorry for things that are out of your control, and never be sorry for anything I do, that's why I'm here," he says softly, but firmly.

"You shouldn't have to," I say quietly, pulling my hand from his grasp and darting out of sight.

I hear light shuffling behind me, but I'm already gone.

And this is my reality: something that pulls me back from my final escape and forces me to reminisce in the nightmare that I have created for myself~

~end chapter.

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><p>Okay, sorry if the characters are kind of OOC im not used to these two, But I'll give it a shot. Let me know what you think, and review cause it makes me happy. Hope to update both stories soon my little fanficers~ haha, that sounded way cooler in my head ;)<p>

Happy Reading,

~Eri-chan


	2. Perfect Situation

Okay here we go with the second chapter guys..

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Perfect Situation (<span>_Masaomi_'s P.O.V)

I watched the girl run from me, a fade of blue disappearing from sight. I tried to chase her, but I figured it was no use; she didn't want to talk, or listen. Yet I wouldn't listen to a damn word either, you couldn't blame her.

I shuffled off from the school, watching student s point and talk in whispers as I passed b, but I didn't intend on listening. I didn't even want to chase skirts. I just wanted to figure out what the hell just happened.

I tucked my hands into my pockets and walked by the main square, not paying much attention to my surroundings.

"Hey Masaomi, that you?" I heard a voice from behind. I turned to see Kadota waving to me.

"Oh hey man," I replied, walking up to him.

"Long time no see, where ya been kid?"

"Well I did leave with Saki,," I trailed off.

"Eh, why don't we talk over sushi hm?" He proposed. I nodded and followed him to Russia Sushi, eager to receive a little incite.

We arrived and I let him do the catch up talk, listening and nodding, having very little input for the conversation.

"So, where's Saki?" he asked abruptly.

"Where ever she wants to be," I said quietly.

"I don't follow?"

"She left me. Thought that it was too much to handle after the years of waiting and then after we left, she just seemed to stop having interest. So she left me," I sighed, gripping my jeans.

"Rough," he said, biting into a piece of sushi.

"Reality," I replied, biting into what was in front of me as well.

"Well, it was a freak situation, it happens I guess. You gotta get up and keep going though," he said, swallowing what he had in his mouth.

"That's why I came back here. I guess it really wasn't all that bad to begin with, I guess I'm just tired of running from everything, escaping with Saki was just another excuse. I need to figure things out here, and that's what I intend to do," I said with a sigh.

I watched the man nod.

"But enough of the sad dopey crap," I started, "How have the guys been doing? Erika, Walker, Mikado, Anri," I asked, putting on the famous Masaomi Kida act that I had developed over the years.

"It' s been pretty quiet, fine I guess you could say. Everyone was shocked when you left, and they still talk about you a lot, but nothing's changed too much," he said, pushing his food away from him as a gesture that he was finished.

"Cool-li-o," I said, smiling a bit. The morning had still been on my mind though, and I had to wonder how long Anri had been dealing with that. I wonder if it's too late to-

"Hey, you wanna head out?" he asked, interrupting my current train of thought.

"Uh.. yeah I guess," I replied.

We walked out the sushi shop and around the corner, not particularly going anywhere. He continued to make small talk, talking about how Erika was involved with her usual fantasies, how Walker failed to shut his mouth about every pretty manga girl there was, and how Mikado and Anri had been on T.V along with Shizuo and Izaya, who apparently destroyed the city one last time together, before the information broker had disappeared.

"Wow," I added, trying to seem alive, trying to make it seem like I was paying attention, but I wasn't. Not really.

"Word on the street says that Orihara is actually making his way back though," he said.

"Hm is that so?" I asked, curious now.

"Yeah, people say they've been seeing him snaking around lately. That Shiki guy probably needs him," he answered, throwing his arms behind his head as we walked.

I kicked a couple stones out of my path, staring at the musty brown boots I wore.

"Well, can't keep him from causing some type of misery around here anyways," I said, getting rather bored with the conversation.

"-KUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!"

"Oh shit," he murmured.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU ABOUT STEPPING FOOT IN IKEBUKURO!" the man roared. The sound of groaning metal made my ears twitch. I couldn't help but run around the corner and watch the two go at it again. The infamous "flea" stood only a few feet from the enraged male, who had whipped a sign at the man, who stepped aside and let the sign fly.

"Now is that any way to treat your lover Shizu-chan?" the man snickered.

"SHUT YOU DAMN TRAP YOU MISERABLE FLEA" he yelled again, his face an absurd shade of pink.

"You can't deny it, you missed me hm?" he asked, walking circles around the tall blonde.

"SHUT UP," he yelled again, swinging at the man, who leaped onto his back, and twisted his face around to meet his own.

"WHAT ARE YOU-"

But the man was silenced with a kiss, and I could feel my mouth drop as the actions followed.

He pulled apart and dropped to his feat, regaining his balance as a malicious smile was placed on his lips. Shizuo was red from head to toe, hell I could feel my face burn with that.

"Yo-y-yo-YOU BASTARD," he stuttered, touching his lips.

"Ehahaha, you're so fun to play with," he teased, skipping away from the embarrassed bleached-blonde.

The man roared once again and threw another sign at him, thrusting forward as hard as he could.

"Are my feelings rejected?" the man laughed, flipping his raven hair from his eyes as ducked.

"Well, I'll be waiting for you Shizu-chan, and you know where," he winked and waved. He started running but turned around to blow a kiss. Shizuo stood there stupefied, as half of the city was I'm sure.

" DAMN YOU IZAYA-KUN" he screamed, flattening the front end of a car with his fist as the power of his punch rippled through the car. Celty showed up and tried to calm the man down, so I took my leave.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you later," I called to Kadota, who could only nod, still surprised by what happened.

"Erika will be pleased," I laughed to myself, imaging the look on the over zealous fan girls face when she heard the news and missed it.

I walked down a couple of streets and failed to see any yellow, which pleased me. The last time I saw the color yellow, I had found out my best friend was the leader of the Dollars, the girl caught in a love triangle was the holder of the saika, and that we all hid it from each other because we didn't want to mess anything up, but in the end, we screwed up everything.

And I did something shitty.

I ran again.

Both seemed to manage to get along well, I got my ticket into the Dollars, and on the down low, me and Mikado talked, but it was never anything that I hadn't heard before, yet I failed to tell him something new as well.

I was lost in my thoughts, engrossed in my past, forgotten in my future, and I couldn't figure out how to change that.

I flicked my phone out and checked the time, reading a little after 11. I wasn't even sure if Anri was in school, but I figured I would go back there any ways and figure out if she was, and maybe re-enroll.

The walk wasn't too long, but it seemed longer than usual, having no one to talk to, and having everything to think about, but once I was faced with the familiar school gates, I had a hard time being able to push myself through them, but in the end I walked through the gates, through the main doors, and found myself in the same office that always smelled of burnt bagels and coffee.

The woman looked up from the computer screen, and her face seemed to drop.

"Masaomi?" she questions, readjusting her glasses.

"The one and only," I say, a smile placed on my lips.

"Alright, me first. Okay one, did Anri show up to class today? And two, I wanna re-enroll here so yeah, talk away teach," I say, flipping my hair out of my eyes and giving her my best smile.

"Um well, Ms. Sahoma did not show up, and sure, I can do that I guess," she said.

"Cool," I say. But on the inside, I'm slightly worried, the image of her running today flashes in my mind. Her eyes watery and hurt behind the round spectacles. It was fucked up.

"So, where have you been mister?" she says, her eyes narrowing now.

"Oh here and there, the journey of a teenager is never complete with so many pretty girls to chase hm?" I laugh, looking back to her face, which is contorted into an expression of disgust.

"I see," she says, typing away at the computer, her eyes flicking back and forth across the screen.

"Well, you're all set," she says, looking back up to me, but I'm almost out the door.

"Awesome," I reply, flicking up the peace sign, "catch ya later," I wink, and run down the halls, letting the smile vanish and replacing it with a look of seriousness.

_Where the hell is she then? Is she okay? Is she upset, is she mad at me?_

I let the questions run through my mind as I continue running to her place, in hopes of seeing the shy girl.

" Come on, let her be here, " say between breaths, making my way up the stairs to her home.

I stand there dumbly and knock, placing my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath. I wait for a few moments, but she doesn't appear.

"Damn it," I hiss, seeing no signs of life in the house. I punch the wall hard and feel warmth radiate from the pulsating hand, blood beginning to trickle between my knuckles.

I shake it and start running again, making my way through the damned city, waiting to see the familiar blue uniform, but I don't.

I ask random people around, but none of them seem to know who I'm talking about, while others just brush me off.

Cussing silently under my breath, I sit down in the park, and breath in hard.

_Why can't I find her? It's like she freaking disappeared! This whole thing must have really screwed her up. _I shake my head._ It seems that the people who don't deserve it seem to get the most bullshit._

I sigh in defeat, watching the sun turn into a glow of purple and gold as it sets on Ikebukuro.

"Hey, Masaomi right?" I hear a raspy voice.

I turn. "Oh, hey Shizuo-san," I say.

"Yo. I thought you disappeared a while ago?"

"Eha, I did, but I can't seem to stay away from this place," I laugh weakly, scratching the back of my head.

"Where's the other kid, the one that has the name that sounds like an air conditioner?"

"Hm, not sure,"

"You've been running around all day. I saw you," he says, lighting up a cigarette.

"Yeah, just looking for someone," I say sheepishly.

"Hm," he says, blowing out a puff of smoke. "By the way, talk about earlier, and I will kick the living shit out of you," he growls, sending chills down my spine.

"Never happened," I say quickly, laughing.

"Mhm, so who were you looking for anyways?"

"Anri, you know, totally boobylicious babe, usually with me and Mikado," I add laughing.

"Oh, that shy girl? Glasses?"

"Yup, you see her?"

"Yup, she was running around just like you," he says.

_Fuck._

"Did she seem alright?"

"I don't know, she didn't really seem like, distressed or anything, I saw her talking to Celty after a while, and then she left again," he said, looking up and blowing out another puff of smoke.

"Oh., when was that?" I ask anxiously.

"Hm.. I guess about 10 or 15 minutes ago," he shrugs.

"Oh, I'm gunna see if I can go catch up to her thanks Shizuo-san,"

"No problem kid," he says, putting out his cigarette and walking off, waving .

I smile and turn around running.

I try going back to her place again, and once I get there, I feel kinda uneasy. For some reason, I feel like I can't do this.

But, I put it all aside and draw my hand to the door, giving it one final knock.

I listen, I watch, I wait, but no answer. But that's when I hear it. I look up and see a laminated room, and I hear whimpering, sobbing, all the signs of a troubled heart. I can see her silhouette, her head resting on her knees, her figure shaking, and I feel like shit.

I open my mouth, but I can't get one word to come out of my mouth, so I turn and run, again.

I don't stop until I reach my house, and I slam the door shut, sliding down it.

I feel tears slide down my own face.

_Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT. It's always running, always forgetting, always ignoring, I can't face it. Every time, I just can't do it. If this were a perfect situation, I would have my answers and be a hero, her hero, and she wouldn't be crying alone tonight._ _But no, I'm a fucking coward, I have no answers, she has a broken heart, and instead of trying to fix a damn thing around me, I sit here and reminisce, and for tonight, the stars are gunna hang in sympathy, because I don't wanna be like this, I don't wanna be lonely. And I don't want her to be alone for the rest of her days on this Earth. I'm done with running. I'm done with crying. I'm done with ignoring. Tomorrow, I'm gunna show her the world, tomorrow, I'm gunna make her mine._

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><p><em>Okay, hope you enjoyed this rather crappy chapter, and I hope to get reviews.<em>

_Happy Reading,_

_Eri-chan  
><em>


	3. Collide

Well it has been a while since I updated this, but people want me to continue, and I have finally found the time to do so. (After doing a very tedious report on tectonic plates, colorful diagrams and all -.-) If you guys need new music to listen to, I suggest Teen Top, because their music is fantastic. Personal fav, Clap. But, that is crazy Eri-chan for you. So, let me get on with chapter 3, and hopefully I will be more consistent with my updates. Thanks for your patience.

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><p><span>Chapter 3: Collide<span>

_Anri_'s P.O.V

_When two very different worlds collide, you are left with this uneasy feeling; this feeling that you have done something wrong. I couldn't face Masaomi, after what he did for me, I couldn't drag anyone else down with me. I refuse to be a burden any longer. I don't want people to feel like they have to stick up for me, because even if I weren't strong enough to face it on my own, I won't let my own weakness be someone else's casualty. _

_It was difficult to figure out what I wanted to do from that point on. Of course, the easiest thing to do was to run, like I had grown so accustomed to. School wasn't in my best interest, for I knew Mikado would be able to spot my displeasure before I had the chance to step in the room._

_We had grown closer as friends in Masaomi's absence, but something told me that Mikado wasn't right for me, that we would be better off as friends, so that's what we did. Deep down inside, there was a piece of me that wished Masaomi would come back, and now that I had met him face to face, I was unsure as to how to interact with him without having my composure crumble after the first "Hello."_

_I found myself walking aimlessly, until Celty had stopped me, asking me what was wrong. I told her as much as I was willing to say, and that ended up being the truth. She nodded her helmet, and told me to go home, to sleep on it. Making these kinds of decisions so soon would only result in confusion. No one would be prepared right now. I gave her my thanks and made my way to my apartment. _

_Once I got there, I locked the door, closed the blinds, and found myself sliding down an adjoining wall. The thoughts that crossed my mind troubled me. The thought of Masaomi putting his arms around me; his caramel eyes searching my own for an answer. The blonde disarray of highlights that I had come to love falling out of his eyes, opening the gate, allowing full contact. I wanted it so bad, but it felt forbidden to me. _

_I didn't want to be alone._

_That's when the tears came. More than anything, I wanted to be loved truly, and not by mindless bodies that were controlled by Saika. I did not want to have the love of "mother," but the love of "Anri," and that was a goal that seemed to far for me to even reach for. It was somewhere behind a dark over hang of reality. I hated it so._

_Anger and sadness all mixed into one, making it hard to keep in control of the sounds and tears that came from me. I felt so out of place, so pathetic. I really didn't know what to do. _

_As my eyes stung with each fresh tear, I felt the need to close them become over powering, and at some point, I have no idea when, I fell asleep._

_That's when I woke up. Darkness surrounding me, kissing ever corner. _

_I stood wearily, and looked around, trying to recall the events that occurred before I passed out, and the sadness sunk into my heart again as I remembered the entire day again._

_I walked around the apartment, and soon made my way to the balcony, where I watched the city lights glow softly. The stars were outshined by our own artificial light source, as if to say, "we don't need you anymore." To be the outcast was something I understood, but the loss was incomparable._

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><p><em>Masaomi's <em>P.O.V

I wandered the empty streets of Ikebukuro, trying to figure out if I was going to go to Mikado's, or if I was going to sleep somewhere in the park. Unfortunately, I sold my own place when I went away with Saki, so there was nowhere for me to go right now any way.

I then decided that it was best to go to Mikado's.

The walk wasn't too long, but it felt like hours. There were too many things on my mind, more pressing issues, which made it so that time had no value.

I wanted to be able to welcome Anri, to let her know that it was okay. I wanted to let her know that she didn't have to do everything alone. But, knowing her character, she likes it better that way.

She was so used to being alone in this world, and I was too blind to see it, even though it was in my heart all along.

Love was something that never came easily to me. I could easily portray a flirt, but in all reality, none of the comments that I made mattered until I met her. I actually felt tied to her, by something stronger than fate. Was this love?

I shook my head. It was too late at night to be trying to unravel such a topic. In fact, it was seemingly useless, for it wouldn't do me any good tonight.

I finally found the familiar building that my old buddy lived in, and I climbed the stairs, knocking lightly at the door. I peered in the windows to see a dim glow from the corner of the room. I heard footsteps coming towards the door, and stepped aside as it swung open.

The look of bewilderment on the younger's face was something I missed.

"Kida-kun!" He yelled, and through himself on me.

"Hello my young friend. How are we fairing on this lovely night hm?"

"Um, fine. Wow, I can't believe you're here!" He said, frantically moving around.

_Neither can I Mikado… Neither can I._

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><p>Well, that is it. This is more so of a transition chapter. Hopefully it will be enough to satisfy you guys' hungry little hearts until the plot bunnies start coming back to me. (writer's block is a BITCH~!)<p>

Any ways, please review so I can know how I am doing, and because it makes me happy.

Happy Reading,

~Eri-chan


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